THE STORY OF SACK TRICK
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One Moonlit night in 1997 three press-ganged fishermen (Chris Dale, Bass; Alex Dickson, Lead Trout and Alex ‘Sponder’ Elena, Piranha Percussion) escaped from a trawler owned by Iron Maiden singer Bruce Dickinson. While on the run they were sheltered and fed for a time by some singing therefore, no conventional way of expressing their gratitude to their elusive hosts, the three escapees set about recording the rabbit’s tunes as a tribute to them. Several other runaways who had been helped in the past by the benevolent bunnies also volunteered their services for the CD. Most notable among them were Doogie White (who had fled one of Ritchie Blackmore’s teenage shoe factories), Robin Guy (who had once spent an entire day being force fed from Faith No More’s larder), and Pete Friesen (who used to have to dig Ricky Warwick’s vegetable allotment). The recordings were completed in 1999 by a big blue parrot, with whom the rabbits had once co-hosted a darts tournament, and released later that day. It was a Tuesday. ‘Music from the Mystery Rabbits’ became an overnight success ("far too much time on their hands... twistedly brilliant " Metal Hammer). By Wednesday it had sold over 6 million copies and been translated into 17 languages worldwide. But its success was to short lived. At tea-time Thursday two copies of the CD in Doncaster tested positive for BSE, and the entire worldwide stock of the album was withdrawn from the shops. By now however the heroic band of wandering escapees numbered several dozen with more joining by the day. Jef Streatfield (a sheet metal worker from Shitsville NW3), Jem Davis (a cheeseboard manufacturer on board a UFO), Chris Nubile (Is that his real name?), Ben Calvert (a happy version of the Grim Reaper, who’s catchphrase 'Kill 2 This' was sung to the tune of 'The Bells of St Clements') and even a Selfridges mannequin, Dolly Dollar, with many more had all rallied to the call that now went under the name of SACK TRICK. They decided their best plan of action would be to form into small bands of say, 3-5 members and play live and in concert rock performances from the rabbit’s repertoire. The results were quite unexpected. The UK rock press mistook the concertos for those of an up-and-coming young band, and praised them beyond all comprehension ("the most entertaining live band to have emerged this year " Melody Maker), while the rabbit’s worst nightmare, of public gratitude had come true. They immediately fled the country in shame. The music industry now bayed for a follow-up album, but with the rabbits in absentia the young group floundered for ideas. In the early evening of 2000 the second album appeared in shops. Entitled ‘Penguins on the Moon’ it purported to highlight the plight of four real-life penguins who had gone to the moon. The gullible music press fell for it hook, line and sinker ("obviously this is a work of utter genius, an instant classic " Kerrang!). But a Panorama documentary team exposed the record for what it was- a tissue of lies and deceit. It turned out that in their desperation for just and meaningful causes to write an album about the fishermen and their friends had entirely made up the story. They had never met any penguins. They had never fallen in love with a microwave. And worst of all there was no rocket ship waiting in Antarctica. They’d simply based a couple of songs (‘Rainbow Trout (A Disaster Averted)’ and ‘All I Want is Fish’) on their own trawling experiences and fabricated the rest, hoping nobody would notice. The scandal caused the fall of the NY stock exchange, mass cult suicides and a tie in the presidential elections. But then that’s Americans for you. Meanwhile the raggedy group still continue to this day to peddle their rock’n’roll wares around the live music circuit, begging on street corners and masturbating in supermarkets. Rumour has it that they intend with their next album to revive the flagging careers of 70’s rockers Kiss, with an album of their tunes, but quite frankly it’s difficult to believe anything Sack Trick say anymore. ...AND THEN!..in late 2004 to shock us all they finally released their warped Kiss Tribute. Whatever next?
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